Thursday, April 7, 2011

Now Accepting: Boyfriend Applications

My friend Sarah B. recently sent me her "perfect boyfriend application" she and a friend had made. It's actually pretty perfect, and seems like it would save me a lot of time and unapologetic mocking heartache if I could really put it into effect. I added a few questions for my own personal needs, but here it is:

Perfect Boyfriend Application
 (Please do not leave any fields blank)

Step 1

Birth Date                                                                                                         

Do you currently live with your parents? If no, please proceed to Step 2. If yes, please try again later. Or never. 

Step 2

(Please check all that apply)

_____ funny  (dry sense of humor preferred)
_____ musician, list instruments:____________________________________
_____ outdoorsy, please explain: ____________________________________
_____ love kids/ want family
_____ creative, please list outlets:____________________________________
_____ intelligent/ intellectual, areas of interest:  __________________________
_____ athletic, please explain:______________________________________
_____ spiritual, please explain: _____________________________________
_____ unique sense of style, describe a typical outfit: ___________________________
_____ cute (beard preferred)
_____ have friends 
_____ adventurous
_____ spontaneous
_____ politically aware, political leaning: _________________________________
_____ good dancer
_____ dog lover, preferred breed: _________________________________
_____ patient
_____ motivated/goal oriented
_____ bathe/shower regularly
_____ supportive/protective
_____ decisive/consistent
_____ affectionate
_____ good kisser

Step 3 
(Please list Top 3)



Sports to watch/ play:

Step 4
(Please circle)

Can you keep plants alive? Yes/ No/ Sometimes
Can you make a campfire from scratch? Yes/ No/ sometimes
Would you buy me tampons? Yes/ No/ Sometimes
Would you be willing to take vacations with my in-laws? Yes/ No/ Sometimes
Would you watch Real Housewives with me? Yes/ No/ Sometimes

Step 5: Essay Questions

1. We discover a mouse running across the kitchen floor. What do you do?

2. I've had a bad day and only a Real Housewives marathon will make me feel better. The big game comes on at 8. How do you solve the problem?

3. My birthday is coming up and you have no idea what to get someone who is as perfect as me. Who do you go to to get ideas?

So...what do you think? Do we need to add anything before we send it out to the masses?


MLD said...

perfection. this would really help getting right down to the important things!

FS said...

Love this!

MaggieO said...

Please start sending this back to every guy that sends you a message on Match! :)

XOXO - Mags

Alyssa @ Life of bLyss said...

I snorted out loud when I got to "would you buy me tampons?"

let's end it with......

"say things don't work out between us. would you break up with me in an e-mail two years down the road?"

oh wait, no, maybe you shouldn't include that. excuse my being salty with my recent breakup. aahaha.

seriously, though, I might just post this to my facebook. have you thought of putting this on mr. "Ifriendedyouonfacebookalittletoearly"'s wall? ;)

Miss T said...

Essay Question 5 - its Day 24 of 28day cycle, please explain how you would mitigate the following: possible oily hair, zits, crying, screaming at the dog for sitting in his own bed, bad outfit coordination and the possibility that one could resign from well paid job because the decaf ran out in the kitchen at work.

Bonus point for giving the correct statement to the following question and as with all surveys - there is only one correct answer: "does my bum look big in this, yes?". True or FALSE

Allison @ HappyTales said...

OHHHH my goodness. I love love LOVE this little survey you have goin' on. It's seriously amazing. May I share the link?!?

Janene said...

HAHAHA! This is great... my fiance did live with his parents, BUT, he also once asked what kind of tampons I used "just in case he needs to pick some up for me someday."

I decided he was worth the risk. ;)

Virginia said...

This is so funny-glad I found your blog (from Royar's), it's so cute! Happy Easter! Virginia

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