Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Dating and the Art of Facebook Friendship

I'm happy to report that I've engaged in some "normal" (aka offline) dating as of late. Insert sigh of relief. 

Take this for example. Saturday night, I headed to Angry Ales so my friend could meet up with the guy she's been hollerin' at. This guy brought some friends. 

Naturally, all the friends were in love with me. 

(Ok, fine, just one of them. We'll call him J.)

While my friend and her man of the moment were making eyes at each other over 2-for-1 Mich Ultras, J and I seemed to hit it off. He made me laugh, he made fun of our friends who were heavily flirting with each other, and he bought me a drink. (It doesn't take much, people.)

At the end of the night, as the bar lights were romantically flashing and people shouted "Last Call!" in my ear, he asked if he could take me to dinner sometime. I told him I would like that. (What? I always like free dinner.) I left the bar that night patting myself on the back for making a genuine, in person connection. I should have known something was up. Because by the next day? He had Facebook friended me. 

First of all, this guy is pretty much a total rando. I didn't give him my last name, and we didn't have any mutual friends, which means he put my name in the search box and weeded through until he found me. 

Uh-uh. Creeps.  

I'm not sure if there's a set of hard and fast rules regarding Facebook friendship and dating, but being "friends" before we even go out on a date? No thank you. Call me old-fashioned, but I like to save the pictures of myself doing keg stands for at least the second date. (I am a lady, after all.)

Being a commitment-phobe to begin with, this makes me feel slightly smothered. I'm pretty much ready to write this guy off.

What do you think? Is he creepy or am I crazy? (Or C: All of the above?)


P.S. Have you checked out The Preppy Vegan? It's only the hottest, most fabulous cooking/lifestyle blog around! 

17 comments:

Kendra said...

While the creep-factor definitely rose a bit with the Facebook invite, I say 'what the hell' and just go out with the kid. You've met in person, you know what to expect (kind of) and in the very least it will provide you with some content to keep entertaining us so fabulously!

MLD said...

I am the same way when it comes to jumping quickly to write someone off but I think you should go for it!

Katie said...

I personally embrace the friending on Facebook, but have created a list on Facebook to place all of the randos. For instance, my list blocks my pics and all personal information about me. That way you can scope the rando out before going out to dinner with him . . . For instance, get a last name and hometown so you can thoroughly Google him to ensure he has no pending criminal charges.

Kristin said...

He def. could have found out your last name since you met him through a friend's friend :)
I say give him a chance!

Adrienne said...

I agree that it's a bit early to be "friends", but I would still give him a chance.,..maybe it's just his way of showing you he is interested. Did you accept his friend request?

Jules said...

I don't think you should be Facebook friends with a person your dating until after a few dates. There are things that should be found out through conversation and not already known when they buy you your first martini; example (your birthday, favorite movies, music, books). However, I think you should give him a chance, and let him know- while you're sipping on your cocktail-why you did not immediately accept his Facebook request.

Alyssa @ Life of bLyss said...

Ehhhhh, I totally feel ya on that one. BUT, maybe he just really likes you. I do agree it's too much. BUT, if you can overlook it for a hot sec to go to dinner, I say give him one last chance on that date.

Any funny business? He's history.

GOOD LUCCCKKK!

MaggieO said...

I don't think it is weird that he facebooked you. Isn't that what Facebook is for? (Didn't you see The Social Network?)

Go out with him!

Miss T said...

I have been reading your dating blogs for a bit, so understand my shock when I read the first sentence as "Im happy to report that I'm engaged"! oh wait a minute 'I've engaged' - crikey! generally Guys are tres hopeless when it comes to matters of the heart, so I think its A-ok that he facebooked you. Keen as mustard (I think thats an Australian term...)
Tread lightly but what have you go tto lose. If he was standing on your doorstep at 6am with a bunch of white roses and singing Roy Orbison songs with a ukele, then I would ditch.
Keep the updates flowing!
Miss T
x

Haughty by Nature said...

Ya'll...these comments are AWESOME. I love being fussed at/encouraged depending on who is commenting.

I may have failed to mention that I was already a bit on the fence about him. He was a little short and kind of country. Does that change anything?

Haughty by Nature said...

Also, I totally accepted his friend request...which means he is probably reading this right now.

Which could account for why I haven't heard from him....perhaps this problem resolved itself?

Sarah Beth - Dixie Gator Gal said...

Totally give it a chance. You live in the south so a little country is what will most likely come your way. So facebook stalking is totally the way things go with how most prople meet these days. I kind of like that he didn't discreetly stalk you, but went all in. Did you honestly not look him up at all or would you not have if/when he asked you out? Go for it girl...then tell us all about it!

Ms. C said...

i love this!!!! Well if it makes you feel better J's friend facebook the friend you went to AA's with while they were in bed together after shacking!!! hahahah!!! If that's not creepy I don't know what is. Free dinner, if he ever calls!! Keep us updated!! Maybe your friend should come and go on a double date with you! Less awkward!!

Hines-Sight said...

I"m late to this little party, and I hate I'm behind. But, I have a sitter who is slightly younger than you, and we talk about this stuff all the time. She's terrible about putting too much on Facebook when she is playing the field....the local guy can read that she likes the out of town guy, etc. FB was not around in my dating scene, and THANK GOD because I would be a terrible stalker and would retain no mystery. Not my strong point! I've been known in my day to ride by a person's place when I didn't have a date with them because I wanted to know if there was someone else. Yes, Yes, CRAZY woman til I found the right one who wanted to be with me...

But, I think FB is just like that. I went to a party the other day, and started to talking to a couple I liked and I asked her to be a friend the next day. I guess I'm crazy still, but she did give me her whole name.

I think the hard part to remember when you have these random people you are friends on FB is to remember you are "on stage" and you need be your own guarded publist, and think before you post. That's hard to do!!! My sitter has over 1,000 friends. When I first started facebook, it was just a small group of girls...so I may have posted, "Gotta do you know what, but would rather be on the computer"....then my MOM joined so I had to edit those posts.

I like what one of your friends said about the south. Get to know him before you rule out country, but I understand what you are talkiing about. My hubby is not "country", and he's from the South. I'm probably more "country" than he is with my banana pudding and pound cakes.

Good luck!!!

Little Rowen said...

C.R.E.E.P.Y. and R.U.N. two words that come to mind.

UK Dating Sites said...

What a lovely story of your life.. I wish you good luck for your future.. Me and my hubby also met through common friend party and after reading your post, I went into memories..

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