Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The New Non-Negotiables for Online Dating

I obviously wrote this post about my 5 Love Non-Negotiables before I started online dating. My original five were:

1. Makes me laugh
2. Adventurous
3. Thoughtful
4. Wants children
5. Has a job he is passionate about (or is at least working towards it)

Yea...what was I thinking? Those were not only WAY too lofty, but much too deep and abstract as well. I've revised my five to be a little more realistic.

Ensley's Revised Top 5
1. Doesn't use the term LOL...ever
2. Taller than 5'8
3. Knowledge of correct American English grammar and spelling
4. Younger than 35...at least while I'm still 25
5. A BMI of less than 30 

MUCH more concrete and attainable. I mean, is this so much to ask for? (Apparently, yes.) Just to prove my point, my friend Becca just received this message on her online dating site:

Do you date older guys too?
So I'm going to think out of the box here and send you my cell #: 
(864)201-XXXX in case you ever wish to chat/text there. Thanks for at least looking at me and telling me what you think about my profile and pictures. You are a REAL DOLLBABY indeed! Hope to hear from you soon? Don't let age or the miles we share between us keep you from getting to know me better.
Jason

Woof.

10 comments:

Deadlandxtreme said...

"REAL DOLLBABY"??? Is it me, or does that not push that guy beyond the norm for creepy online tools?

MaggieO said...

Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or shake my head at your online dating suitors. Hang in there! The right guy is out there.
Love ya girl!

- Maggie
Maggie-explains-it-all.tumblr.com

MLD said...

Oh no, my non-negotiables are just as abstract. I think mine might need a revamp. Normalcy must be too much to ask for.

Love your blog :)

Haughty by Nature said...

@deadlandxtreme

It absolutely pushes the norm for creepy online tools. I swear, the longer I am on these sites I think:
1) How the hell am I still single and
2) No wonder these dudes are still single (and 48)

Haughty by Nature said...

@MaggieO Thanks Mags. At least I got some good laughs on the way to Mr. Right, right? RIGHT?

Haughty by Nature said...

@MLD No, I still need someone to hold out hope!

The main problem is, I want the guy version of me. Apparently, the guy version of me's average age is 42. Ew.

Alyssa @ Life of bLyss said...

oh, lucky, lucky Becca. That dollbaby.

Allison @ HappyTales said...

Ohmygoodness. This is just craaaazytalk. I can't beleive these boys think they actually have game typing things like that... sheesh!

Janene said...

in response to my online dating profile that mentioned I study environmental science, and therefore am fairly eco-conscious, a guy said (and i quote!);
" i'm really into the environment, too! I mean, I don't really believe in this global warming nonsense, but ya know."

really? did you really think that would mean success?! of course, it was better than the guy who told me he'd pay me to drive 3 hours to ... well, you know. that, sir, would make me a prostitute. i passed on that gem, too.

It's okay, though. I started messaging my fiance 2 years ago - in fact, the anniversary of our first date is tomorrow! :)

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