Scene: Friday night. I'm out at Andrew Blair's with my ladies, doing our usual fraps and scoping for dudes. (I was also having some skinnygirl margs, so you better believe I was tearing.it.UP. on the dancefloor.)
Sigh. All of the dudes were
certifiable midgets super short and unattractive. Except one.
He looked strangely familiar.
You see, back in the fall I was on a free dating website called Plentyoffish. (Ever heard the saying "you get what you pay for"? It's true.) For the most part, none of the guys had a high school diploma...so, not really on my "level". There was one guy though, who was tall, handsome, and used to play football for the Florida Gators. I mean, I was ready to tattoo his name on my ring finger upon reading his profile. We emailed back and forth a few times before fate intervened and we randomly ran into each other in person (I was on the dancefloor that time too...figures). We chatted, I drooled over his height (6'5), and he got my number and asked if he could take me out.
Aaaand then I never heard from him. Or saw him again, until he showed up at Andrew Blair's.
The biggest problem was this: between his height and my height we were the tallest people there. I desperately tried to avoid eye contact while wishing I was 5'1 so that
1) I would be able to hide in the crowd, and
2) I would be able to date one of the other runts at this bar
Then he was talking to a skinny bitch with a Bump-It in her hair, which made me feel a lot better. I mean, if he likes girls who wear Bump-Its for any other reason than dressing up as Snooki for Halloween, I'm not really his type. (See: classy.)
So there goes the one man in Charlotte who is taller than me. My question is: are men getting shorter or are we getting taller? It's not like I play on a women's volleyball team or something, and I very rarely wear heels. Yet my 5'8 stature apparently means I'm an Amazon woman. Sigh. Where have all the tall guys gone?
P.S. Inebriation is no excuse for this sort of public makeout session...(plus it wasn't even midnight at this point).
|Who raised you? Wolves?|