Thursday, March 17, 2011

Last One Picked for the Team

Somehow, my two mortal enemies friends Amy and Keefer talked me into playing kickball on a co-ed team this season.

Pick me...please?
"It's kickball", they said. "You don't have to be coordinated, and we'll go to the bar afterwards. Plus, there will be hot guys."

No coordination necessary? Drinks? Good looking men?

Check, check, and check.

I still hesitated, because while I am good at many things, running, catching, and kicking are not among them. Ultimately, I agreed. Poor choice. Because, yes, there were hot guys, but before you go to the bar you actually have to play five innings of kickball. Five innings that totally consist of running, catching, and kicking.

My inner adolescent fat girl self still has major anxiety over contact sports. I was always the last one picked for the team (rightly so), and I've been smacked in the face with a wayward volleyball one too many times. I like yoga. And swimming. And walking.

What I don't like is being heckled by fat guys on the other team who seem to confuse kickball with the World Series. Dude? Chill out.

Our team captain warily put me out in right field (aka where nothing happens) which I was grateful for. I still spent each half an inning praying that no one would kick the ball my way, since then it would be my job to catch it. Or run after it, which would be even worse.

On the bright side, I made it up to bat twice, and even got on base once. It's practically a miracle. And the bar we went to afterwards? $1 Bud Light drafts. Now that's what I signed up for.

10 comments:

Alyssa @ Life of bLyss said...

oh, gosh... you totally just took me back to my anxiety-filled recess days. I was the gawky lanky girl who was *sometimes* coordinated. but trust me, it was rare I did anything all too impressive.

it happens! ;)

and seriously, $1 BLD? I'd sign up for that any day.

Adrienne said...

You are brave. I hated any kind of team sport growing up. I am very tall, so everyone naturally thought I would be a good athlete. Not True! I am horribly uncoordinated, run like a total girl, and can't catch a rolling beach ball.
But, when I was in my 20's, I would probably would have given it a shot too - hot guys and cheap beer were huge motivators for me back then.

Miss T said...

well done! Im no good with sports either. I did gymnastics when I was young - I think I lasted two classes. Remember the movie Ice Castles? thats what gymnastics was like for me except I wasnt blind. And they were throwing insults at me, not roses. The girls were horrible! I did ballet for a bit, and I quite liked tennis but quit when I got caught having a cigarette in the toilets (it was de rigeur back in those days). Funnily enough now I do yoga, and swimming and I walk everywhere! Beer anytime is a no brainer :) but for a dollar! wow! what are they - beer shots? Alcohol's expensive here....
Keep on keeping on!

Hines-Sight said...

Funny story! I probably would have gone for the beer and men, but I would have stood on the sidelines--made up some...ankle excuse or some other hypochrondiac term. You're a good girl to sign up for this little league. I am tipping my margarita glass in your honor.

Haughty by Nature said...

@ Alyssa, the fact that you are totally athletic and run marathons now does NOT make me feel better! I barely make it around the block before I call it a day. (Well, actually, I barely make it around the block before the Bud Light starts calling my name.)

Haughty by Nature said...

@ Adrienne My greatest fear is that my future children will be super athletic, and I'll have to spend my afternoons and weekends watching sports. The horror!

Haughty by Nature said...

@ Miss T HILARIOUS. Girl are rude, especially on the brink of starvation gymnasts and ballerinas. I mean, let's be real: this isn't Black Swan. Chill. Out.

Haughty by Nature said...

@ Hines-Sight Thanks Leigh! And I may have to try that ankle ploy at the next game.

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