Monday, May 2, 2011

The Epidemic of Cargo Shorts

Saturday, some of my favorite ladies and I packed our coolers and headed to the A.W.O.L. music fest here in Charlotte. Did I mention that it was BYOB as long as you didn't have glass containers? Sold!

Linds, Abby, Charlene, and moi
We heard awesome sets by bands like B.P.L, Matrimony, Paper Tongues and Mike Posner. (Yes, the guy that sings "Cooler Than Me".) 
The lead singer of Paper Tongues and our resident interpretive dancer
It was hipster paradise out there. More than once, we smelled the distinct odor of cannabis wafting through the air. (I must say, those people have balls to be tokin' up in broad daylight.) This may explain something else we saw:

Cargo shorts. Everywhere. 

What is with the predominance of cargo shorts? I don't understand their popularity. What the hell are you carrying around that you need that many pockets? What's so wrong with a nice pair of plain ol' khaki shorts?

The combo of cargo shorts and the w-a-s-t-e-d lady in front of us doing hour upon hour of interpretive dancing led my friend Abby to (wisely) conclude: "I think this is why concerts are usually at night." Aka...in the dark, where hot pants-clad self can interpretively dance to your blood alcohol's content. 

How can we end the epidemic of cargo shorts?

7 comments:

SJ said...

I love this so much!! Hahahah I totally agree cargo shorts just need to be banned, or left in the dark.

Adrienne said...

The last thing I need on my hips and thighs are bulging pockets.

Haughty by Nature said...

SJ, cargo shorts SHOULD be banned. Or those that wear them should be separated from the rest of us with tall, electric fences and signs that say "danger!" like in Jurassic Park.

Miss Southern Prep said...

Haha this post cracks me up! I agree, I don't understand the cargo shorts phenomenon either!

Anonymous said...

http://www.smudailycampus.com/mobile/2.7493/smu-fraternity-sigma-chi-bans-cargo-shorts-1.2136944

This is the lengths people will have to take to get rid of cargo shorts. As a reformed wearer I completely agree with the vote. Also grown men should probably not wear anything with an eagle, moose, or a lame ass Seagull. Stick with the horse, gator, and sailboats. You've graduated from high school, you should dress like it.

Kristen said...

you crack me up! and i totally agree!

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