Friday, January 14, 2011

What's Your (New) Sign?

Apparently I'm going to have to find a new pick up line. According to this article, the astrological signs have changed over time and we're now a month "off" from the dates that traditional astrology swears by. According to the article, I'm really a Pisces instead of an Aries. Oh, and they randomly threw in a thirteenth sign (Ophiuchus?) after some jibber jabber about a wobbly celestial equator. Huh?

What.the.hell? Being an Aries was what I've used to excuse my bitchy, arrogant, and bossy behavior for the past 25 years. (What? I can't help it. It's in my stars.) Now I'm suddenly supposed to be a Pisces? No can do. They can't just throw this at me and expect me to change who I am.


The article goes on to state that only 25% of people "believe" in the current astrological signs. While I don't look to a one-sentence blurb in the newspaper to predict my day (unless it happens to say I'm going to meet a tall dark stranger), I do believe the personality profiles of these signs tend to be dead-on. For example, in this book "Goddess Power" that I found for 99 cents at a used bookstore, says:

              "Impulsive, impatient, and demanding instant gratification, the Aries woman
               can act out both selfishness and an emotional immaturity that makes her
               difficult to be around. There can be a 'me, first' or a 'me, me, me' attitude that
               can dominate and alienate others."

Um, hello? Hits the nail on the head. (Please see title of this blog for proof.) Especially since, as a teenager, my parents described me as living in an Ensley-centric Universe. (My response: Why the heck would I want to live anywhere else?) In fact, they still probably think this, but the gravitational pull is far less since I flew the coop. On the brighter side, it also says:

             "Classic extroverts, the Aries spirit gets even brighter through her ability to befriend            
               with less light, fewer gifts, and less natural advantages."

Duh! I totally use my popularity for good. Like helping the boring, stupid, ugly people. (What? Read the description again. That's what it says.)

See? Now that I'm a Pisces, I feel the need to apologize for merely being who I am.

So, guess what scientists? I don't believe you. This sounds like another one of those "world is flat" sort of discoveries. When your theory is proven wrong, I'll be waiting to console you and say I told you so. After all, it's what an Aries would do.

739 comments:

Kristin said...

Is this why people were posting their sign on Fbook?

Allison @ Happy Tales said...

I feel the SAME WAY!!! Not only was a bumped to a new sign... but I am now dubbed that HORRENDOUS new sign that nobody can even pronounce!! WTF! I actually just ranted about this yesterday on my blog... still so mad! I refuse to change. I am, and will always, be a Sagittarius. Through and through.

thisitalianfamily said...

I never paid much attention to signs and such growing up, but I always knew I was a leo and I was good with that. However, now I suddenly have Cancer. Not so good with that. I mean, really? Who wants to be associated with the cancer...? Ick!

Haughty by Nature said...

@ Kristin Yes it was, guess this caused quite the uproar. Turns out it's only for people born after 2009. The article failed to mention that...rude!

@ Allison I totally understand! I don't think we need to worry though

@ thisitalian family-Thanks for checking out my blog! (And thanks to Allison for sending you my way!) Yea, Cancer is gross. I have an ex boyfriend who was a Cancer, so I feel as though I'm a relative expert on the subject.

Your Former Roomie, Julia said...

@Ensley, a Cancer woman gets to use her claws, has a rough exterior, but an oh so soft interior. At least, that is why I justify all my behavior!

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