A Yogi Goes To Kickboxing

After three days of utter isolation ice and snow, my roommate's dear mother took pity and offered to come pick us up and take us to the Y for a kickboxing class. (I still had to Find My Zen, because I was seized by utter panic at the thought that icy roads = certain death.) 

Now, ever since finals ended in December, my exercise has pretty much consisted of power yoga (especially Body by Bethenny, below) and walking (while listening to audio books and podcasts). And what do you know? I've lost 9 lbs and counting! (Well, that was before the three snow days in which I made every attempt to fatten up for the winter.)

Find It Here!

But today I needed to get off the couch and I figured a good kickboxing class would help to offset the effects of 72 hours of power eating.

That's me on the left...not.

When we first arrived, our instructor described the class as a mix between kickboxing and a hip-hop dance class. Red flag! I can kick and punch all day, but add some fancy (or not so fancy) footwork and I stand there, lost and entranced by what the instructor is doing. Not really the best way to burn calories.

Actually, the choreography wasn't too difficult, I'm just lazy. There's only so many times someone can shout "HIGH KNEES! GET.THEM.UP.THERE!" Before I get tired, cross my arms and start to pout. I missed Bethenny, making fun of herself and telling us she was going to "call India" because humble warrior is more accurately described as "boob to knee pose".

Plus, kickboxing is just more fun when you have an ex-boyfriend's face in mind to really give that uppercut some power. Unfortunately for my martial arts skills, I'm pretty Zen in that area right now as well.

So, considering I'm exhausted, hungry, and slightly dehydrated, I think I'll leave the kickboxing for those girls next to me that were doing jumping jacks like 5 feet in the air. (Seriously, though, how does anyone jump that high? It's not normal. Their butts jiggled a lot though, which gave me some small satisfaction.) I'll take some Bethanny or a walk to Freedom Park any day of the week. Namaste to that! 

Healthiest States in America

This article popped up on my home page this morning, tempting me by asking if I lived in America's Unhealthiest State. (Turns out, I don't.) 


However, people in Mississippi do. (Are we really shocked, people? Really?) The article points to low graduation rates and lack of primary care physicians as major factors in the low ranking. I guess we are ignoring the fact that folks in the Deep South would fry their breakfast cereal if given the chance.


The five unhealthiest states were:      

46. Oklahoma

47. Nevada

48. Arkansas

49. Louisiana

50. Mississippi   

Source

However, I did make a face at the supposed "healthiest" state: Vermont. Say what? The article said that Vermonters (Vermontians? Whatever.) were probably "out celebrating their first-place finish with an invigorating mountain hike". Has the author of this article ever been to Vermont? Because I'm pretty sure a snowy January hike would be a bit more than "invigorating". Try "so cold it makes you wonder if your fingers are still attached to your body". 


The 5 healthiest states were: 

1. Vermont

2. Massachusetts

3. New Hampshire

4. Connecticut

5. Hawaii 

(Ok, really? I would be a lot healthier too if I had the option of being in a bathing suit 350 days a year.)

I call bias on this so-called "study". New England has 4 of the 5 healthiest states? Ahead of Hawaii? 

Even if it is true, I lived in New England for one winter, and that was enough for me. I'll still take the South any day, where the winters are mild (minus the past few days), the beaches are close, and the people are better-looking. Thanks. And pass the fried pickles. 

A Snow Day Wish List

1.I wish it was sunny.
2.I wish it was warm.

Things I Could Have Done Today:
1. Jillian Micheal's Yoga Meltdown
2. Finished my book
3. Started a new book
4. Dusted
5. Vacuumed
6. Watched a movie
7. Caught up on phone calls
8. Written my thank you notes

Things I Have Actually Done Today
1. Eaten the entire contents of my fridge
2. Eaten the entire contents of my pantry
2. Consumed half a pot of coffee
3. Fallen asleep watching HGTV (probably due to the overfeeding and caffeine crash)
4. Facebook stalked people I haven't seen since freshman year. Of high school.
5. Made a FB fan page for this ol' blog (ok, so maybe that was semi-productive)
6. Perused a Vogue from August 2010 (why is this still in our living room?)

Being from Florida and all, I'm just not used to snow days. We used to get the occasional day off for hurricanes, but they weren't that relaxing seeing as how we were afraid for our lives and all. (What? You never know when a tree might just crash through the roof!)

So...I'm thinking I may have reached a point in which I'm willing to go out in the snow just so my muscles don't atrophy. Thank goodness I have a roommate, or I would feel like one of those people who doesn't see sunshine for 80 years and has back issues of National Geographic piled up to the ceiling in every room of the house.

But then again...this four day weekend is something I could definitely get used to. What are you all doing if you're stuck inside like me?

Almond Yogurt: Attempts of a Lazy Foodie

Since one of my (many) 2011 goals is to lose my chub focus on health, my first step is going to be limiting the animal products in my diet while increasing the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables. So far it's working: I'm 9lbs lighter than when I started making an effort to eat less and move more. (Aka, I'm obviously a weight-loss expert now.)

(Source)

Now, after reading this article by the Nutrition Diva, I'm choosing to limit dairy products on the notion that our bodies are not meant to digest it after weaning. If you need proof, just look at nature: milk is high in fat and calories in order to nourish a mammal's young. Do you want the same BMI as a baby? Didn't think so. 

Not quite bikini ready are we? Tsk, tsk. 

Luckily for all of you, I'm here to experiment with recipes and bring you the ones that won't make you vomit only the best! My first attempt? Yogurt made from almond milk. 


I got the idea from my own genius brain this great post on Heather Eats Almond Butter. I had to experiment with her recipe for a bit to get it right, but it basically went like this: 

In a saucepan, I combined: 

1 cup of Silk PureAlmond Milk:

 (I used Original )

With 1 rounded Tablespoon of Kanten Flakes (from Berrybrook Farm, my local patchouli-scented Health Food Store):

Kanten Flakes are basically nature's version of gelatin, they just come from the sea instead of horse hooves. (Ew.) 

Don't stir the mixture until it comes to a boil, and after that stir occasionally until the flakes dissolve. (Depending on how much you are making at once, this could take 5-10 min.) Let it cool completely before transferring it to a bowl and sticking it in the fridge. 

Within an hour or two (I lost track of time watching Real Housewives), voila! I had almond milk custard. I threw it in the blender with another splash of almond milk to make it creamy, and here was my result: 

Not half bad, huh? It had the same consistency as most light yogurts, like Yoplait Light or Activia. (Added bonus: no aspartame or other artificial ingredients like those yogurts have!) It made a great snack the next day with some banana and a dollop of honey. 


When I can afford my own handy dandy yogurt maker, Renegade Health had a great how-to video on fermenting your own non-dairy yogurt and sour cream. (It's legit.)


I've also listened to a couple of nutritional Food for Thought podcasts. I found them very helpful in clearing up myths about vegetarian nutrition. 


Have any of your tried something like this before? How did it turn out?


Happy Eating!

Paging Mr. Mizrahi

Since this is my first snow day since the first grade (hello? I'm from F-L-O-R-I-D-A. We hunker down when it rains), I'm trying to think of creative things to to. First on my list: peruse my bookshelf for all the bargain finds I've collected but never cracked open. (I mean, first on my list after, uh, balancing my checkbook and ending world hunger. Obviously.)

First up: Isaac Mizrahi's How to Have Style.

(Source)

Which could be alternatively titled: "Ensley, You Have a Lot of Shopping To Do" or "How On Earth Do You Ever Leave the House?"

Though I guess some things don't really apply to me, like "finding the right heels for work". Until they make heels that 1) don't hurt and 2) can magically levitate, hovercraft-style, over 24 backpacks and jackets strewn over the floor at dismissal time, I'll stick to flats.

I was happy to note that I did have some of the items he featured in the "What You Need" section, like, um, black pants and a tote bag. (Maybe I shouldn't have hastily spent my Christmas gift cards on Sex and the City seasons after all...oops.) However, Isaac does recommend that we all have an "aspirational" handbag, which is no problem for me!

I would happily take this one:

Chanel 

Or this one:

Balenciaga "City" Bag

Buuuut, for their $1500 or so retail price, I'd rather someone just pay my rent for four months. Ka-ching!

He also lists various pieces of costume jewelry every stylish woman should have, but fails to mention what to do if all of your jewelry could be considered "costume".

The biggest thing that I took away from this book was the need for an inspiration board:

Isaac's inspiration board

I've been wanting to make one for months now, but am too lazy busy to hunt down and buy a cork board and cute frame. Of course, now I'm all inspired, but scared to leave my house for fear of freezing to death or becoming one of the characters in an Annie Proulx short story. So, here's hoping that I'll be inspired to...inspire myself. And buy more (cute) clothes.  Maybe this day won't be so unproductive after all. (Though I still have laundry and creating world peace on my to-do list.)

Dashing Through the Snow

While the sky here in Charlotte basically vomits snow (woohoo, no work!) , I can't help but think it was just over a week ago that I was here:

Oceanside on Stocking Island, Bahamas

Where the only footprints are mine...

...the sky and water are equally blue...

...and miles and miles of the most beautiful beach I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot!).

This is my "happy place". (And my "tanning for hotness" place.) Sigh. Spring Break is only 3.5 months away!

2011: Heavy on the Sass, Light on the Class

Stocking Island, Bahamas

The thing about celebrating New Year's in an Out Island of the Bahamas
is that you have to be sassy in order to survive. (Per-FECT!) You, being a white
girl of smallish (?) stature are surrounded by droves of very large

Bahamian men who are constantly catcalling and tsk-ing at you (apparently they think that I find this attractive, which is
interesting). Not only do you have to practice The Look of disdain,
but you occasionally have to let them know when they have stepped over the line. 

Case in point: Isaac. Isaac is a very nice Bahamian in his mid 30s.

Unfortunately for poor Isaac, he decided it would be a good idea to grab my upper arm fat muscle and say "Woooo, girl. You got

somethin' to grab ON TO!"






Big mistake. Big, biiiiig mistake.






He was lucky that I was double-fisting, and therefore rendered unable
to slap him on his face. But I DID have a lot of rum in my
bloodstream, so my voice was sufficiently loud.






"ISAAC! You do NOT tell an American they've got "something to grab on

to". American girls want to be told they have NOTHING to grab on to.

Nothing! We like to be compared to skin and bones. Rude.





Alvin (who runs one of the beach restaurants), Tori (an American working in the Bahamas), my frenemy Isaac, and myself. Sorry about the rain splatters on my camera lens.  

Anyways, he apologized, and I not only got him to buy me a drink out

of guilt but also felt like I had done the world a favor by passing
along this information. You're welcome, world!






Then I met Scott*. Big, fat Scott. Scott is sailing with his super
cool Australian uncle for a couple of months. Unfortunately, Scott is
neither Australian or the least bit cool. He
is however, fat, lazy, boring, rude, and able to trap people in

conversations that have no meaning or value for seemingly hours on
end. Here is a little snippet of our beautiful exchange:





This is a pretty accurate depiction of ol' Scotty.

Me: Hey, Scott! Your uncle just asked if you would go down to the
beach. Your dinghy is filling up with water from the waves and he
asked that you come help.





Scott: Nah. He'll be fine.



Me: Um, what? No, he won't. I just tried to help him but I wasn't
really strong enough.



Scott: So, what? You want me to like, apologize to you? I'm not doing that.



Me: (Pause for a beat.) Nooooo. But it will be a little hard to get
home safely when your dinghy is full of water and stranded on the
beach.






Scott then proceeds to put his hand in my face as in "talk to the
hand". For real? Who DOES that?






Luckily for him, my double-fisting drinks were empty and I was

rendered unable to throw one of them in his face.






Luckily for me, my Bahamian friend Isaac chose that moment to come up
and ask "is this guy bothering you?", to which I smiled at him
sweetly, batted my eyelashes,
and replied "Yes. Yes he is".






And then I left Fatty Fatty No Friends to deal with my new Bahamian

friend (and all of his Bahamian friends).






Welcome to the Bahamas, sucker!






So, even though  I got my arm fat squeezed, wish I could have had a
few more words with a certain overweight loser, and had to pull
dinghies full of water up onto the beach in my cute clothes, I still
had a great time. I love 2011!



What sort of debauchery did you lovely readers experience on New Year's Eve? What do you love about 2011?


*This is totally his real name. Whatever...he deserves it.