Queen of the Fag Hags

Opened up this email from my dear friend Jeremy this morning. All I can say is thanks...I guess? I mean, he did compare me to Perez Hilton and David Sedaris, so I really can't complain, but then there were the parts about farting and Fag Hags...read on.

Jeremy and I as Britney and K-Fed circa Halloween 2008

Hey girl,

I was just catching up on your blog, and I forgot how much I desperately need you as my Queen Fag Hag. That's right, I just offered you the most desirable position any woman would truly die for. This opportunity won't last long (actually, it will last indefinitely until you decide to accept)...so act fast...or not. 

You should really consider writing...not full time, because I'm sure the children need you more, but certainly as a hobby. And by hobby, I mean one that pays. You are ridiculously good! You remind me of a female Perez Hilton, minus the ugliness and lack of classiness. Actually, if you have never read David Sedaris, you really should because I look forward to your writing just as much as I do his. He is, by far, my favorite writer, which puts you at either a tie, or close second.

(P.S., I'm in Starbucks right now, and I actually just farted out loud. Nobody heard...I think, but I had to admit it to someone that it actually just happened. Whatever, coffee makes me gassy.)

Anywho, write back and come visit me soon!