Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Another Thimble of Bourbon, Please

I usually avoid festivals/craft fairs/Civil War reenactments of any sort, mostly because: 

1) I enjoy sitting down
2) I like the shade
3) I don't particularly care for large crowds of people (probably because I don't particularly care for most people)

Adrienne, Amy and I sitting in the shade. I whine, I get my way. Simple as that. 

Luckily, my dear friend/social coordinator Amy promised that not only would last weekend's Beer, Bourbon, and Barbeque festival here in Charlotte be free of sweaty rednecks/creepy cat quilts/men dressed as Confederate soldiers, but my ticket got me unlimited (you guessed it) beer, bourbon, and BBQ all day. (Come to think of it, Amy would have made a great Phi Mu social chair, since she bases our weekend festivities on wherever there are handsome men and flowing drinks.)

For her, I made an exception. Simply because:

1) I like beer
2) I like bourbon
3) I liked BBQ-until I participated in the day's pig races. After that I liked mac n' cheese. What kind of sick person has pigs racing around for cheese doodles while their kin are being served on a bun next to them at a BBQ festival? 

Hell, I'd run that fast for a cheese doodle too.

Less haunting were the billy goat races. Upon seeing said billy goats, my glamourous, Charlotte debutante of a roommate confessed that, at the age of 6, she had owned a billy goat named (drum roll please)...Billy Bob. (How long did that take you to come up with Elise? Days? Weeks even?



After five minutes on the hot asphalt I'd had about enough of barnyard shenanigans and was ready for a drink in the thimble sized glass they gave us upon arrival. Luckily for me, the Jameson & Ginger line was empty while the line of people waiting for some nasty pomegranate beer juice wound around the tent. I would have mocked and cajoled the men waiting for a shot of warm, berry beer, but I was too busy getting refills since all those suckers were in the other line. 

My fellow Florida alum Adrienne and I noticed there seemed to be a lot of FSU fans in the crowd. 100% wore tank tops. 100% had man boobs that would have spilled out of my bra. Sick.

I also discovered my new lover, Bourbon Sweet Tea. (I never thought I could love anything as much as sweet tea vodka..sniff.) I sampled two different brands, and by "sampled" I mean I suggested to the bartender that she just hand me the whole bottle to save herself the trouble of pouring me teeny tiny little glasses of it. She wouldn't listen, even after I coughed up a few George Washington's to put in her tip jar. 

I thought it was much more flavorful than sweet tea vodka, which tends to taste watered down to me no matter how I drink it. 

The two brands I tried were:
and 


Once it gets to be summertime, I'm going to make myself an awesome drink using this:

Haughty Arnold Palmer
(You should probably just go ahead and make a double recipe for yourself)
1.5 oz Sweet Tea Bourbon
3 oz lemonade
Serve ice, stir, you get picture. 

What tops the day's events better than cole slaw on your BBQ sandwich? My friend P Tuns calling as soon as I'd left the festival, where he'd decided to take a "quick nap in the bushes". When awaking from said nap, he'd found himself still drunk, disoriented, and alone, but apparently coherent enough to call and bum a ride from his neighbor.  Oh well. I got some Chik-fil-a waffle fries in exchange for a ride home. 

P.S. Unlike Carolina Cup, I only had to buy one ticket this time! 
P.P.S. Rest in Peace, Billy Bob. Turns out you didn't go live on another farm after all. 

215 comments:

YSP said...

I love you. I love your blog. I love your humor. Make your Arnold Palmer in WV this summer.

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