Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Heart Is a Lonely....Something or Other

By all accounts, this week has been a really good week.

My kids have actually gotten quiet when I've said things like "Be quiet".

T. gave me a huge hug upon our return from Spring Break. (By "huge hug" I mean he sort of kind of draped his arm around my shoulders for a second, but trust me, that's huge.)

The weather's been great so I've actually been working out, and even went on a 5+ walk with some friends. (Considering my current social life in Edenton, that is pretty much the equivalent of a cocktail party.)

But something's just not sitting right. I was talking to my friend Shannon last night when she helped me figure it out: I'm lonely.

While most people may have a reaction somewhat like "Duuuuh", this isn't a feeling I'm used to having. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and was an expert at entertaining myself.  But for some reason this feels different.

Work/life balance has a lot to do with it. Besides walking the same loop around my tiny town and watching Real Housewives religiously, there's not many ways to decompress after work. (Besides heavy drinking, which I've heard is generally discouraged.)

I keep telling myself that it'll be better next year, that summer is just around the corner, that that's when I'll finally have time to write like I want to. But I need to realize that the only time I have is NOW, and that summer doesn't hold some magic elixir that will provide endless blogging and story writing.

Plus, I still have students showing up everyday and trusting me to teach them. So there's that. can I enjoy the moment and not feel like I'm pushing fast forward to summer?


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