Saturday, November 6, 2010

Real Housewives Recap: Who's Party is It?

This week's episode cut down on the glitz (as much as it can be cut down) so we could see how the RH actually live. Turns out, Taylor lives in her own little bubble that no one cares about understands, Lisa keeps getting cooler every episode, and all of the other Wives are pretty boring. 

We start of with Taylor deciding that four years old is when her daughter should receive her first "special" piece of jewelry. I'm pretty sure I'm twenty-four and still waiting for my mom to decide that. I guess these jewelers in Beverly Hills have heard it all, since they jumped right on board Taylor's crazy boat and started showing her Barbie necklaces that cost upwards of $1,500. I don't know if Taylor actually has met her daughter, since I can tell you any necklace that's not up a four year olds nose in five minutes flat is destined to be buried on the playground. 

Cut to Camille arranging her trip to Hawaii with her two children, two nannies, and house manager. Apparently, delegating to other people to pack, get your house ready, and take care of your children 24/7 is more work than I thought, because she keeps moaning about how long her to-do list is. We get it, Camille, we get it! Has Camille heard of single working mothers? You know, women who get up, get their kids ready for school, put them on the bus, go to work, work all day, pick their kids up, cook them dinner, put them to bed-by themselves.I'm pretty sure they would argue that you really had 30% more to do than anyone else. 

Kyle is show meeting with her party planner, who seems to be one of the most innovative minds in the industry. His suggestion: cool it with the overdone Alice in Wonderland themed parties, and instead throw a PRINCESS PARTY! What a refreshing idea for a little girl's celebration. Way better than a lame, overdone, cliched Alice in Wonderland theme. I mean, how many little girls have princess parties? Oh right. All of them. 

Strangely, we then cut back to Camille sitting in a hot tub. (We have yet to see any other Housewives in bikinis, but Camille seems to be in about ten per episode.) She's with some fat man she calls a "dear friend" who keeps telling her how hot she looks. We get it! Then she blabs on about how they let some friends live in one of their "homes" when they were having financial problems because she just "loves giving back". How awesome. I'm sure letting people live in an extra house that's a symbol of your excessive lifestyle is truly gratifying. 

Lisa takes her son to tour the Musician's Institute in Hollywood, where she makes him play his guitar for the admissions officer. Based on the lack of rhythm and awkward snapping, ( (I think there might have been a "Wooo, yeah!" thrown in somewhere as well) I'm guessing the admissions guy had never seen a musical instrument before. Oh well, Lisa approved of the school anyway. 

Then the magical day has arrived: Taylor's birthday party. Oops! I meant her daughters. I was starting to wonder if this "daughter" really existed, until the little angel appeared at her party long enough to cross her arms, stomp her feet, and be shuffled off with the Hispanic nanny. Taylor uses these precious, child-free moments to allow the party photographer to take pictures of her. By herself. How sweet.

Taylor's husband then surprises the little girl (and Taylor!) with a puppy. Correct me if wrong, but I'm pretty sure the golden rule(s) of buying dogs is:
1) Don't buy them as gifts
2) Don't buy them as gifts for four year olds

Happy Housewives watching! May your weekend be as long and refreshing as Camille's self-gratuitous bikini shots.


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