Real Housewives Recap: Viva Las Vegas

Ah, 90210. You never fail to disappoint. 

This week's episode starts with Camille Grammar panting, stretching, and making ball jokes to her (extremely handsome) tennis partner. Gross. We get it Camille. You are blond, sexy, and married to a dinosaur of a sitcom star Kelsey Grammar. We.Get.It.

Cut to Lisa strolling through the kitchen of Villa Blanca in her studded Louboutins and greeting everyone by name. This seems a world apart from my experience working in a restaurant, in which the sweaty Israeli owner was usually yelling at me and calling me Ashley. To each their own!

Then (surprise!) all of the Housewives (and husbands) head to Vegas for the weekend. (Don't they do this a lot on RHO Orange County as well?) Adrienne, owning the Palms and all, gets all of the couples a kick ass room with amazing views of the city. 

Then we cut to Kim. Poor, lonely Kim wandering aimlessly through the hotel suite and wishing out loud that she had someone to share it with. Hey Kim? There are worse things than being single. Like being married to Taylor's bald, awkward husband. 

P-E-R-S-P-E-C-T-I-V-E. 

Moving on to dinner, Taylor explains to the group that she pursued bald, awkward Russell for three months before he would go out with her. Based on the amount of people coughing in their napkins to avoid laughing, I would start lying about this part of the story. Maybe say you met on eharmony? Apparently money can buy you big ol lip injections but not a husband with a personality full head of hair. 

Then we cut to Camille's Hair Flipping Extravaganza 2010. (We get it, Camille. We. Get. It.) She also makes a big show of saying she doesn't drink, then orders tequila shots with the husbands at 9:03 am. Rock on, sister! But don't wonder why women don't want to be friends with you. 

Off-camera, Kyle and Camille apparently have a "misunderstanding" in which Kyle is asking questions and Camille is acting like a dumb ass. Since it wasn't caught on camera, I can't say that I really care. Supposedly we see the the way this "forever alters their relationship" in episodes to come. Yawn. 

Until next week, may your Vuitton steamer trunks remain unscathed as you retrieve them from baggage claim...