Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Hibernation Station

Last weekend, I rushed out of a dinner party to get home, slip on my high heels, and meet my friend for a Night Out On the Town.


Friend showed up. We oohed and aahed over each other's outfits, hair and makeup, and decided to sit and have a drink. 

One drink turned into two, and then into water. (Kind of the reverse of what Jesus did.) Then the heels came off. We moved over to the couch to sit more comfortably. And before we knew it, our Night Out On the Town turned into a Night In On the Couch. 

A very well-dressed night it, might I add. 

Not-so-secretly, I was relieved. This winter has been bitterly cold, and it's taken its toll. I'm tired. I spend my days with four year olds, where I talk loudly and get my feet stepped on a lot. The last thing I want to do on the weekend is drag myself to a crowded bar, where I will tell myself I am neither cold or tired, talk loudly and get my feet stepped on a lot.

I Googled "Why Do Bears Hibernate in Winter?" and got this response from the Lansing State Journal:


Hibernation is a dormant sleep-like state.  By going into hibernation the bears bypass winter when their food supply, nuts and berries, disappears.  Animals like the bear would find it extremely difficult to find enough food during winter, and therefore go into hibernation.


Except for the no-eating part (that sounds awful), I'm basically in hibernation. In the past few months, I've lost all desire to stay out until 2am, much preferring to get an early wake-up out of my Sunday morning. I wish I could say that it's the weather. But I'm afraid that it might just be that I'm growing up. I went on to read:

In order to survive this long period of inactivity the bear must build up its body weight by accumulating fat.  In the months before hibernation bears can gain up to forty pounds of fat per week.


I-N-T-E-R-E-S-T-I-N-G. This does not sound good at all.

While in hibernation the bear uses the stored energy it accumulated as fat to survive.  So a bear can lose from fifteen to forty percent of its body weight during the winter just by sleeping!

Holla! I am totally this bear. Now that I'm an official 15 lbs less than when I started, I probably should be going out to show off my hot bod. But then I'd have to stay awake. Or take a break from eating. So...until the weather means sundresses and strappy sandals, I'm going to have to say no thank you. And by "no thank you", I really mean "get the hell out of my cave, I'm trying to hibernate here". 

4 comments:

Adrienne said...

Hilarious post. I loved every word of it. You have some fantasticwriting skills, girl!

Good, no 'great' job on the weight-loss. I am very impressed.

Holly said...

Hilarious...
Literally had this exact conversation last week.
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/166680_1552354212639_1348650036_31196856_5683047_n.jpg

And jealous on the weight loss.

Haughty by Nature said...

@Adrienne! Thanks for the encouragement...I needed it after what felt like a LONG bout of writer's block!

@Holly Glad to know it's not just me. Hopefully all of my friends will read that, so they stop calling me things like "loser" and "crazy cat lady".

Hines-Sight said...

I love your posts, too!

I can totally relate to your night on the couch, but as a mom who needs a sitter...a night on couch in a wine bar dressed up looking pretty is considered a NIGHT on the TOWN. It's better than in the Pjs on the couch.

Congrats on the weight loss.

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