Friday, April 3, 2009

The Only Medical Advice You Will Ever Need

So unfortunately I can't claim credit for this genius, but if isn't the most true thing you've ever read, then my name isn't Ensley "I love margaritas" Gilchrist. I mean, just look at this picture to notice there is an extreme healing process going on here:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were
more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your
doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and
more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let
you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost
immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can
overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life
you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you
will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop
hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are
pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas.
However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming
pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Margaritas are also available in
generic form, known as tequila. Just as effective and
costs only a fraction.

Side effects may include:

:-( Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration

:-( Erotic lustfulness

:-( Loss of motor control

:-( Loss of clothing

:-( Loss of money

:-( Loss of virginity

:-( Loss of bladder control

:-( Attraction to ugly men

:-( Table dancing

:-( Headache

:-( Dehydration

:-( Dry mouth

:-( And a desire to sing Karaoke


WARNING:

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your
friends over and over again that you love them.

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you
can sing.

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without
spitting.

2 comments:

Matt and Brittany said...

Now that is a fitting photo for this blog. HAHA! You crack me up! Love and miss ya'!!!

B Sona

Jules said...

I love you for this post and that photo!

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