Tuesday, April 7, 2009

If You Can't Beat 'Em-Buy 'Em

Last week, one of the restaurant's regulars-an older gentleman named Clem with a heavy thirst for Jack and coke-took the courtesy of asking what my name was. Upon introducing myself as Ensley-since that's what I answer to-my coworker Ron (who I also like to call "Mr. Helpful") shouted: "Doesn't that sound like a quintessential WASP or what?" Clem chuckled and agreed. He then asked me what religion I was raised in, the answer (Episcopalian) eliciting another round of laughter. This confused me, so naturally...I Googled.
This led me to believe that:

1) the power of Google is awe-inspiring
2) I probably shouldn't be having to Google acronyms I am being called
3) basically, when you look up "WASP" my photo comes up-I blame that whole Episcopalian episode, and
4) Ron and Clem basically called me a JAP who loves Jesus.

Here's a few tidbits I aquired from Urban Dictionary.com:

1. W.A.S.P.="White Anglo Saxon Protestant". The most common place for W.A.S.P.s would be New England. Smart, witty, posh, classy, old money, top of the social chain, good looking, country club members, nonchalant, old school, boat owners, capable of outdoing anyone on anything, original prep (none of this new popped-collar, tacky pearls, and ribbons), boat shoes, Polo's, Lacoste, scandelous in private, small stature.
There are two types of people who go to country clubs:
People who let you know that they attend a country club, and those who you had no idea because they don't go about telling everyone. We call those people w.a.s.p.s. {See: Preppy}

Smart, witty, posh? Boat owner? I could get used to this. On to the next...

1. Preppy
A true preppy is someone who:
Wears, but is not limited to, Polo, Lilly, Brooks Brothers, Lacoste, LL Bean (ie duck boots), ribbon belts, prints (ie cords with embroidered whales, palm trees, etc), sweaters tied around the neck, collar always popped, looks neat and put together. Hair ribbons or ribbon headbands, pearls, and other classic jewelry pull the look together. Preppies are partial to monogrammed and engraved items (ie tote bags, oxford shirts, jewelry, money clips, etc). Colors are always brite (favorites include pink and lime green). Preppies may not always match EXACTLY but they are always coordinated. Hats are worn (ie polo player, Lacoste, Brooks Brothers), but they are unique- not designs you would see in the mainstream and the "mall".
Preppies often attend prep schools (ie Middlesex School, Governor Dummer Academy, and Belmont Hill) followed by New England private colleges.
They are confident and unafraid to express their own styles and be daring in their fashions. Preppies vacation on Nantucket, Martha's Vineyard, Delray Beach, and on the coast of Maine. These vacation locales are places their families have been going to for years, and have histories there.
It is a common misconception that preppies are snobs. Many people view them as unapproachable, and as a result mislabel them. Preppies are not as rich as people may think they are, but they are often well off. They buy into classics rather than trends, and don't change their lifestyles with fads.
Preppies tend to have bizarre connections with other preppies they meet, always finding mutual friends/ family and people that run in the same circle.

Preppies don't:
* Wear tight, skin exposing clothing (ie fitted Abercrombie sexual tshirts with tight flared jeans)
* Limit themselves to mall shopping and chain stores. They gravitate towards long-established classic stores and boutiques unique to quaint New England towns.
* Wear heavy makeup and endless hair products. The phrase "less is more" is a preppy creed.
* Glue purses to their arms, especially when going to school. Lip gloss and if need be, a wallet, are thrown into tote bags along with books.

Now, I could refute any of this above information. But then I would be lying. My name is Sarah Ensley Gilchrist and I'm a big ol' WASP. My parents, their parents, and their parent's parents all have skin the color of 2% milk. Real world example: last Thursday, I about had a heart attack and died when I found Vineyard Vines pajama pants (see above photo) at Filene's Basement (I mean, uh, the super-exclusive Vineyard Vines boutique on Martha's Vineyard itself!) for a mere $19.99. Hel-LOOO! They are perfect for lounging around my sunny condo on the Upper East Side. Or my summer house on the beach in Nantucket! (Or my tiny ass, sardine can of an apartment with a view of my neighbor's gorgeous brick wall. But whatever.)

So I'm a WASP. I like bright colors and would like to live in the Lilly Pulitzer store on the UES. (That's Upper East Side for all you low-lifes.) I die for boys in blue blazers and drool a little when I step into J. Crew. Get over it.

And also keep an eye out for my upcoming book on style, titled "How to Not Look Jewish, Trendy, or Cool".


Jules said...

You would have absolutely loved Wofford College... I am fowarding this post to my friends. They're gonna die!

Suse said...

I agree with Julia. Wofford flashback!!! All those preppy garb references made me gag... sorry! I may not enjoy your fashion sense, but your wit entertains me. keep them coming!

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