Saturday, October 29, 2011


I have a lot of great qualities, but coming up with creative, funny, and classy Halloween costumes on my own isn't one of them. (No sexy nurse costumes for me, thankyouverymuch.)

In the past, I've been surrounded by a large group of girls who want to go out together on Halloween, and I usually end up being assigned a costume by default. This works for me.

Sophomore year of college, my BFF Ashley came up with the genius idea to cut holes in a tank top and go as Regina George:

Junior year, my dude BFF Jeremy and I graced everyone with our presence as Britney Spears and K. Fed:

(Because when you resemble someone who always looks like a hot mess, you just have to own it)

Once I moved to Charlotte, we always attended Gravedigger's Ball/Halloween Bar Crawl, so I needed something that I could get around in comfortably. (I.e.: I could be lazy and get away with it.)

In 2009, I chose to go as myself  Mrs. Tim Tebow:
Which wasn't that difficult and boys totally came up and talked to me to either tell me:
1) Mine was the greatest costume they've ever seen, or
2) Tim Tebow was the "gayest" man in the world. (Really?)


Along those lines, last year my faves and I decided to dress as "Fantasy Football", and wore jerseys, black jeggings, and cowboy boots. Anything that involves stretchy pants + not looking like a skank = Best costume EVER.

(Please take a moment of silence to commemorate how long my hair has gotten and
how much weight I've lost since this time last year.)
Aaaannnd once again, boys totally came up to talk to me to tell me:

1) Mine was the greatest costume they've ever seen, or
2) Tim Tebow was the "gayest" man in the world. (Really?)

I even met this cute law student from Florida, who had one of the best costumes I've ever seen:
(Did you hear me say LAW STUDENT? That's right.) We didn't fall in love, but I got a free drink out of the deal. Win-win. 

And now it's...2011. Instead of dancing to Ke$ha at Gravedigger's Ball, I'll be at a party in Windsor, NC. (I use the term "party" loosely here, there will probably be about 10 people there. That's a "get-together".) Did I mention I have no costume? Here are the front runners (the only catch is that any costume items must be available at the Wal-Mart in Elizabeth City):

1. Patti Stanger from Millionare Matchmaker

All I'd have to do is curl my hair, hitch up my skirt, and yell at people. Halloween by Bravo.

2. Nicki Minaj

Colorful wig, colorful leggings, and butt padding and I'd be ready to go. 

3. Lisa Vanderpump from RHOBH

Tight dress, little dog, and having to talk in a British accent all night? Sign me up. 

4. Kate Middleton

Um, besides the fact that I would need to lose 20 lbs in the next 12 hours, I think I could by myself a big fake sapphire and roll with it. 

Which one would you pick?

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