Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Real Housewives of Orange County: Reunion Recap

Since I am television-free for the next six weeks (unless Bravo decides to magically post ALL of the RH episodes online), my friend Mackenzie offered to write a guest post on the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion specials for all of you dear readers. 

Why is she qualified for such an epic undertaking? For starters, Mackie is LITERALLY the haughtiest person that I know. For realz. She and I enjoy nothing more than doing impressions of Alexis when she's giving her two cents on "liberal America". Plus, if Mackenzie were a Real Housewife, those bee-yotches wouldn't stand a chance. Therefore? She's in. 

See what you think:
She could totally be the new Real Housewive of D.C.

Holy Housewives. It seems as if the ladies might have caught on to the idea that if they want their show to succeed (read: if they want to make money for being professional trash-talkers and support their questionably-employed hubbies/Slade), then they have to keep the drama at threat-level red at all times. The ladies came into the reunion with guns blazing. They were ready- nay, enthusiastic- about confronting one another. Apparently “indoor voices” are not a total faux pas in the O.C. Don’t get me wrong- I enjoy a good catfight. Heck, I enjoy confrontation in general- I am in law school, after all. But I have to say- I grew rather uncomfortable and slightly bored with their screaming matches.

I’m finding it harder and harder to figure out if I actually like any of the Housewives. I know I love the drama, and I know that I love that I’m not a part of it (though I would like the wardrobes, hair, houses, cars, etc.), but I don’t think I like any of the woman at all. I used to think I like Gretchen, but she’s awful (I blame Slade). Tamara is throwing drinks and “hitting” people with cease and desist letters at televised cocktail parties (the lawyer in me is cringing at this display). Alexis spent the better part of her time on the show setting the women’s right movement back several decades (Susan B. Anthony is rolling over in her grave), so that’s not so great. Peggy, though enjoyable and less dramatic than the others (relatively speaking), might not even be human- lay off the plastic surgery, girl!

I am saddened to think that Vicky was the most “real” Housewife this season. Ummm, hello? Vicky is c-r-a-z-y- and she was consistently providing us with plenty of material to use in support of hating her. And who doesn’t love Don? Speaking of which- Don’s little outburst… half of me says that it was totally uncalled for. The other half of me says, “you go girl!” If I were going through a divorce and had the ability to unleash a rather public tongue-lashing on my soon-to-be ex, I can’t say that I’d back down from the opportunity. And, again, who doesn’t love Don? Final scores are in: Don-1, Vicki-0.

Despite the drama and fighting and outbursts and tears of the two-part reunion, I would probably have to say that I am most impressed by the real heroes here- the editors of the show. I am SURE there was way more than two TV hours of catfights, but they miraculously cut it down to the lovely, lady-like episodes we all got to roll our eyes at. And those poor, poor people who had to sit through the entire taping! Andy Cohen, how do you do it?

I hope we can return to the days of excessive lifestyles and arguments over not providing the proper kind of wine to pair with the caviar… you know, the “real” lives of these housewives that both attracted and disgusted us into falling in love. 

What do you think- are we done with these silly fights over EVERYTHING or is this what keeps the viewers coming back for more? 


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