Friday, May 4, 2012

RHONJ: Poker Face

I'm in one of those deliriously happy sort of moods that has nothing to do with real life and everything to do that Real Housewives of New Jersey and Real Housewives of Orange County are both currently showing on Bravo.

That's two hours of Real Housewives. Every. Single. Week.

I know some people ask themselves "why aren't there more hours in a day?" or "where does the time go?". Not me. I know exactly where it goes: directly from Bravo into my brain, where any relevant knowledge I once possessed is changed directly into useless facts about Gretchen Christine handbags or Fabulicious cookbooks. Wines by Wives anyone?

And I love it. 
I'll take Teresa's arms (but not her brain). Please and thank you. 
 The new season of RHONJ is less "new" than it is "let's rehash every word we said to each other last season", but I don't care. I'm 100% willing to admit I enjoy the Housewife fantasy of having a huge gourmet kitchen (complete with granite countertops for miles) and of not having to work, like, ever.
Why I have I been driving myself to the airport all these years when Albie Manzo could have been my escort? WHHHHHY?

So sure, they don't really have solid friendships and half of their husbands are criminals, but at least they're rich! Plus, my Southern heart is slightly horrified/fascinated by how much the NJ Housewives and Husbands swear around their children. (But really.)

This week, I loved the part where Teresa defended Joe's drunk driving record by saying somehthing along the lines of "mistakes are opportunities to learn". Um, Teresa? I think that quote applies more to situations like calling someone the wrong name at a party, not a state of inebriation that endangers the lives of others as well as your own. Just sayin'.  

To sum up Sunday's episode: Everyone's still realizing that Teresa's an idiot (did it honestly take you this long? You people worry me), everyone is still in awe of how much of an idiot Ashley is (duh), and Caroline's daughter wants to lose weight. The End.

(And yes. The episode was on Sunday and I'm posting about it on Friday. It's called TiVo people. And the fact that I go to bed at 9pm.)

Happy Friday ya'll!


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