Monday, February 23, 2009

Charmin or Angel Soft?

When deciding to become an intern in New York (doing two internships, at that) I
thought I understood that grunt work was the name of the game. Errands, coffee runs, making copies-it's called working your way up, people! And, being an almost college graduate while doing so, I hoped that I could blow those other eighteen year old wimpy interns right out of the water. Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

Now I must admit, I've gotten a bit spoiled at Seventeen. I've yet to go on a coffee run, have made an insignificant amount of copies, and get to run to beauty shoots and do other fun things to help out. They also tell me when I'm doing a good job and say things like "please" and "thank you". Weird right? Totally.

Enter in the two days a week I spend at my other internship. My desk is a couch, I have to feed the cat food that smells like asscrack, and as for the errands I run?

I had to buy her TOILET PAPER.

Charmin or Angel Soft? Double or single roll?
I mean, thank the lord I spent four years studying photography, or I'd never be able to keep up! She will toss returned mail at me and bark "find this current address!". I then sit in cold sweats for twenty minutes while trying to figure out WHERE I could find this address before I just ask her, and it ends up being on her computer which she has BEEN ON for the past twenty minutes. I believe this goes with the saying that sometimes it's faster to do things yourself....

The sad things is, that's not the worst part. The worst part is....we have to listen to New Age music. All. Day. Long.

I don't really even know how to qualify the sounds that come out of that stereo...the term "whale music" seems much too pleasant. It's more of a gutteral humming that builds up from silence and then makes me almost fall over my desk (I mean, couch) when the loud humming chorus rears its ugly head. Seriously. Even the cat hides from it. But maybe he's just digesting asscrack. So, life lesson learned: avoid all music with titles similar to the following: Sounds of Yanni, Kindred Spirits, Winter Mornings, Awakenings, New Awakenings, New Kindred Winter Morning Awakenings (featuring Yanni). Seriously, if we subjected Al Qaeda detainees to this crap for even a small amount of time, we would KNOW where bin Laden was by now.

That is all....


Anonymous said...

The horrors of New Age music were visited upon me by Enya as a child, and I have yet to fully recover. (Sky)

Related Posts with Thumbnails