Online Dating: Chapter 13,988

I certainly hope you all are still as amused by these Match.com messages as I am, because my dear college roommate Katie just sent me over two of her most recent love letters.


Hello!! My name is Joe and i am a funny, compassionate, loyal,
generous, passionate and kind lawyer who retired early. Your profile
piqued my interest as you strike me as intelligent and down to earth. I
am 5'11', very fit and have exceptional blue eyes. I recently moved from up north to south Florida and i don't miss the cold. The one thing that i enjoy the most is old fashioned romance. If you love to shop and travel and be treated like a lady drop me a line.


Hi, Joe. A few things:
1) How early are we talking in "retired early"? You seem pretty old. 
2) Generally, one doesn't describe their own blue eyes as "exceptional". But then again, I haven't been around as long as you. Maybe you do know better.
3) Your description of "old-fashioned romance" sounds a little like a trophy wife. I'd totally be down if you weren't such a dinosaur. 


Turns out, Katie also gets haikus like I did:


"hii, how r u?
can i ask u a question ?
what a guy should do to get to know a beautiful girl like u ? "


hiiiii i am gr8!
thx 4 the question. 
if u want 2 get 2 kno me, you should 
go learn 2 spell or write a full sentence. 


I mean, really? Poor Katie is busting her rear end in law school, and her choices are old geezers or illiterate men? What is the world coming to?


Maybe these guys should read Match.com's blog post about Dating in America.  Interesting article (especially about when to Facebook friend your date). Check it out and tell me what you think.