Shut Yo Mouth

Reason #885 I need to keep my mouth shut occasionally:

The Scene: The Editor-in-Chief (Ann) of Seventeen and I arrive at the water cooler/coffee station at the same time. While I stand in awe of her (it's hard not to when she's towering above me in Louboutins), she's awkwardly reaching around me for stirrers, cup lids, and straws. Being me, I decide a good ice breaker would be to say (loudly): "Man, it sure is a tight squeeze over here at the watercooler!"

First of all...what?

Second of all, she just blinked at me a few times and then walked away. I think there was a faint ringing of crickets in the background.

So my joke didn't go exactly as planned. I was HOPING that she would laugh, strike up a conversation (maybe starting with "what's your name?"), and wonder where I've been all her life. She'd invite me into her office just to gab and get my feedback on all things Seventeen (or maybe just allow me to update the miniboards while she's in there?). Everyone would be super jealous when they walked by her office and could see us laughing and laughing through the glass walls. She'd come grab me from my intern closet and toss me in her Town Car to go to lunch, and maybe we'd hit a sample sale on the way back to the office. I'm exhausted just thinking about the fun we were meant to have together.

But obviously she does NOT get my sense of humor, so where could this really go? Not that many people would have laughed at that, it being so stupid and all. I'll take a pity laugh Ann!

That is all...