Sticky Fingers

I have a problem.

My name is Ensley and I'm a freebie table addict.

On a clean, white countertop in the offices of Seventeen exists my kryptonite: THE FREEBIE TABLE. This is where editors (aka people on salary) discard items they have been sent so that lowly urchins (I mean, interns) like myself can descend.

This is also my permanent hangout. I refill my water twenty times a day in order to make a quick pass. A trip to the bathroom involves taking the long way in case a new little something has arrived. I am DESPERATE for freebies...one might say I live for them. (So I'm a loser. Get over it.) Items that end up on THE TABLE include CDs, books, beauty products, clothes, bags...

...they might as well be crack rocks.

My supervisor at Seventeen knows to grab things and leave them on my desk. A day without freebies is a day lost-that's what I always say! ("Always" being a relative term.)

I've aquired quite the arsenal of goodies, some of which I might have actuallly shelled out money for in an alternate universe...maybe. I know I'll get tons of use out of my white Micheal Kors beach bag...in a few months, when the sun stays out past 5pm. And I'm REALLY excited about the $160 yummie tummie shapewear slip I picked up the other morning. Unfortunately it's an extra small (for those perfectionists who aren't content just being "small") and I almost threw up from the sheer effort of trying to put it on. But it's pretty and pink and has rhinestones on the bottom. I'm keeping it. If you're an extra small, do you REALLY need shapewear anyways? Didn't think so...

Despite all of that, I can and do excercise some occasional self-control when it comes to THE TABLE. Case in point, after squaling over cute, pink patterned dog leashes and collars for about five minutes, I realized the hiccup: I don't own a dog. As luck would have it, a cute, pink gardening apron was sitting right next to them! But alas, a garden is also lacking in my cute, pink domestic life. But maybe I should just take ONE collar...I could give it to a friend who has a dog...and maybe I WOULD garden, but haven't been able to because I have no where to put my gardening tools! Genius!

Just a minute ago, I picked up a black Gap skirt in my size! Never mind that it has some freaky drawstring on top, and I have no idea what to wear it with, IT WAS FREE. I can tear it up and use it to dust my TV if I want to! Tie it to a stick, paint on a skull, and make it into a pirate flag if I want to! Split one seam and wear it like a superhero cape if I want to! The bottom line is: I DO WHAT I WANT. With freebies.

Ciao-I'm off to make another pass.