The Real World: Ocean Isle Beach

Love these girls

I spent my glorious 3 day weekend in Ocean Isle Beach, NC this weekend with two of my favorite ladies. Lindsay has a house down there, and her mom was kind enough to vacate so that we could have it all to ourselves. Can you say "late night dance party"? Because I can.

Some of Lindsay's OIB friends were down there with some of their friends, which made for a huge, awesome group of people. While recovering in Lindsay's living room on Saturday morning, we decided that between the boys' raunchy mouths and the girls' sweet dance moves, we could totally get high ratings as the case of The Real World: Ocean Isle Beach.

The cast of Real World: Ocean Isle Beach. You would watch, right?

In Ocean Isle, some of the cabs are limos. Perfect for filming reality shows.

Unclear, on so many levels. 

I mean, I would watch just to find out what the heck that lady was doing with that blow up doll. Disturbing.

Cast dinner

The boys even almost got in a fight on Saturday night with an anarchist who called them unpatriotic. Hello, high ratings! Don't worry, he drove away in his spray-painted, camouflage Jeep Wrangler before things escalated.

That just happened.

The cast at Second Street

Awkward family photos?

Overall, I had the best time ever. It was the opposite of a girl's weekend (and you know how I feel about those) and instead was full of raunchy boy humor, too many brewskis, and a few sunburns. It. Was. Awesome.

My body is glad that I'm home, since it needs 8 hours of sleep and more exercise than walking back and forth to the cooler. Sigh.

Would you watch Real World: OIB?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Thanks to a crazy schedule the past month or so, I haven't been logging on to my Match profile, uh, ever. (Plus, I'm about to move, but more about that later.) Luckily, gems like this continue to find me. 

hi my name is Ryan and I'm 22yrs old. I often get 26 or so because of my matured level. I work full time for the city of charlotte as a professional firefighter and I also have my associates degree from back home in NY. I am very easy going and I like to keep things fun and entertaining. I was looking at your profile and thought that you were really cute, and that you had a lot of nice things to say. You seem to have a smart head on your shoulders with a pretty laid back feel. Hopefully I can talk to ya soon and chat with ya!

Where have you and your "matured level" been all my life? I'll assumed that your Associates Degree wasn't in English, because I notice you capitalize your own name and the pronoun "I", but nothing else. 

My "smart head" has a "pretty laid back feel"? This is the best compliment ever!

Seriously....I think I've found the One, you guys!

I Think We Should See Other People...Tomorrow

One of my friends recently responded to my call for Haughty readers' dating disaster stories with this little gem:

I had been dating this guy for a couple of months. (Let’s called him B.) As he had introduced me to his friends multiple times, I figured my friend’s birthday celebration was the perfect time to introduce him to my friends. When we got to the bar, I started drinking my favorite frenemy, tequila, and drank a bit more than I should have. I ran into a couple of my guy friends from school, and while I thought I was talking to them for ten minutes, it turned out to be more like thirty. 


I did the proper mea culpa, and we were eventually the annoying people kissing on the dance floor that I normally point and laugh at.

When B decided it was time to go, I realized I needed to close out my tab. While I was waiting to get the bartender’s attention, B got a phone call and stepped outside. No big deal. I closed out my tab and headed outside, where he was still on the phone. No big deal. We walked to his car, and he was still on his phone. No big deal. But then we got into the car . . . with bluetooth activated speakers. Imagine my surprise when the high-pitched voice of a female came through the speakers, and I learned that B was planning to spend next weekend with this girl for a beach getaway. Wonk wonk wonk.

Now, when I drink too much, I get overly rational, because I know that my brain cannot comprehend what is going on in that state. So in light of the fact there could be one possible reason for what I was hearing other than he was a total douchebag, I took a nap. I woke up to him pulling into my apartment complex, where he informed me he was too drunk to drive home. I let him stay the night, as my conscience would have burdened forever if anything happened on the way home.  He walked out the door bright and early the next morning. Never. Heard. From. Him. Again.



I'm a bit confused as to how he was sober enough to drive my friend to her apt (and be on the phone!), but not sober enough to continue on his merry way. I would have told him to go drive himself into a telephone pole, probably. Or sleep in his car. 


What would you have done?

Sneezy the Friendly Dwarf

I love it when my blog touched people's lives. Or really, just when they realize they know the people in my pictures. My friend Erin emailed me this gem yesterday after reading my post:

Ensley.

I was just perusing your blog, and was joyfully reading and laughing and enjoying the photo-heavy post about your weekend.

 

Until I ran across this:

Who is you?

You see, I had a brief, yet unfortunate encounter with this guy/creature only moments before you danced with him.

 

Let's review the evening.

We went to Andrew Blairs (I, unwillingly) to see you, since you lured us under false pretenses (You said there were young, attractive men. You did not include DOUCHE in the description). We came. We laughed.  We left.

 

From there, our little group walked across the dimly-lit parking lot to Angry Ales, a fine establishment next door. We enjoy the scenery and settle into our confortable (yet approachable) circle of girls.

 

Enjoying polite conversation with our friends, I was distracted by a wiff of air that came protruding down my back and shoulder area. Turning around, I see a (small) male, smiling and wiping his nose. EXCUSE ME? You SNEEZED on me? I give him a look of disgust and turn around to share the mutual digust with my friends. I turn around again, and he is still there. STILL THERE.

Here's how the convo went:

Him: "I didn't really sneeze"

Me: "OK?"

Him: "I just wanted to talk to you"

Me: "What would you like me to say? Bless you?"

Him: "I mean, what do you expect a guy to say to a girl he's attracted to?"

Me: "How about we start with HELLO."

Him: "I mean, it's just a pick up line...."

Me: "Well let's file that one away as "NEVER USE AGAIN"

 

He continued to stand there and tried to talk to me. I continued to give him the cold (and now wet) shoulder. His friends used this opportunity to swoop in and try to use their friend's awkward entrance as a way for them to seem more normal. It did not work. After many minutes of awkward and forced conversation, they scooted along to Andrew Blairs, where the Sneezy Dwarf found his next victim: Ensley.

 

Hope your encounter was less germ-filled, my friend.

Aaaaaand we have a winner for Most Annoying Person Ever: Sneezy the Dwarf! I can't imagine how he wasn't the perfect gentleman, evidenced by his near-stupor in the picture above. Sigh. We do attract winners, don't we?

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

My friends Katie and Adrienne came into town this weekend so we could celebrate Katie's birthday, Charlotte-style. (And if anyone asks, we're saying it was Katie's 25th Birthday: The Sequel.)

Adrienne started grad school at UGA in January and Katie lives in Greenville, so our shenanigans are few and far between these days. I'd almost forgotten how much fun the three of us have together. (Perhaps a little too much fun, judging by these pictures.)

Katie's Bday dinner at Cantina

We started out with a delish dinner at Cantina 1511, where the waitress was great about not judging our many round of skinny girl margs. (Tequila, club soda, splash of lime juice.) Afterwards, we went back to my apartment and I made us all a batch of grapefruit margaritas. 

Which took effect pretty quickly....

Appropriate, cute...

...and done with that. (Adrienne didn't get the "fug face" memo we sent out.)

As Adrienne (wisely) said the next morning, "When your pictures look like that at 10pm, it probably means you shouldn't go out."

Oh yea.

Work it.

But who are we to listen to wise advice? So we called a cab (did anyone realize that cab companies text you now to tell you when they're about to arrive? Creepy and cool, all rolled into one) and headed to Andrew Blairs.

Group hug!

I rushed right up to the DJ booth to request "Till the World Ends (Remix)", but the DJ said he wasn't taking requests. Scusi? Isn't that like a waiter not taking orders? What. The. Heck.

Dancefloor time

So we had to make our own fun, despite the terrible music. (Let's just say, this DJ plays the same two Micheal Jackson songs every week. But no Britney. Sigh.)

Incoming hand! 

We made some new friends...

Who is you?

...actually, I think this guy just bumped into me and I got him to take a picture. What. A. Hottie.

But seriously. Who is you?

We continued the awesomeness via a late-night party at our house. But while Katie entertained our guests in the living room, Adrienne and I somehow thought it would be a good idea to Hoover through the contents of my entire fridge. Cantina leftovers? Check. Birthday cake? Check. Crackers with peanut butter? I wish I were kidding. We had no shame, until Katie asked us to bring her her Cantina nacho leftovers...and I realized I'd already eaten them. Woops. 

I distracted her from being mad at me by telling her and our guests that I would make them shots of tequila, which they heartily agreed to. Little did they know it was actually a shot of my bottom shelf, plastic-bottle, Montezuma tequila. Happy freakin' birthday. 

The takeaway? I'm the worst hostess/bartender ever, but my friends are straight-up awesome.

Tina Fey's Bossypants

I'm a monthly member of Audible.com, where I do super-awesome things like download self help books that I listen to on my walks through Freedom Park.

I'm not even kidding. Conversations with God, Books 1, 2,and 3? Check, check, and check. Infinite Possibilities by Mike Dooley? Oh yea. (I'm currently listening to Love Wins by Rob Bell, which I had to download after it caused all kind of controversy in my Bible study. Telling me a book is causing an outrage in the conservative Protestant sect guarantees that I'm going to run right out and buy it. And probably agree with every word in it.)

But for my roadtrip to West Virginia for Easter, I wanted some entertainment in the car that wouldn't have me arrive at my grandparents house talking about the Oneness of the universe and all that. I needed something funny.

Listen to a sample here.

So I turned to my imaginary friend Tina Fey. And she didn't disappoint. (Does she ever?) Less a memoir and more just all the funny crap that's ever happened to her, Bossypants details everything from her years as a drama student at UVA to her time doing improv at Second City with Amy Poehler to her time at SNL.

And other drivers probably thought I was mental because I was cracking up BY MYSELF in the car.

The fact that this is currently #1 on the NYT bestseller list means I'm not alone, which is nice. (In fact, if you want a more intelligent, infinitely better written review of this book, check out the NYT review.)

Have you read this/want to read it?

Since it's Friday, treat yourself and check out the clip of Tina as Sarah Palin below.

The Preppy Vegan

I  didn't have time to post today (because of kickball shenanigans last night) but head on over to my food blog, The Preppy Vegan, to read today's super awesome delicious recipe.

You know you want to read it...

Oh, and we lost our kickball game, giving us an 0-9 record AND the title of Worst Team In the League. (You would think this would bother me, but it doesn't. At all. To me, the sooner we lose, the sooner we can go to the bar.)

Have a great Thursday!