The Heart Is a Lonely....Something or Other

By all accounts, this week has been a really good week.

My kids have actually gotten quiet when I've said things like "Be quiet".

T. gave me a huge hug upon our return from Spring Break. (By "huge hug" I mean he sort of kind of draped his arm around my shoulders for a second, but trust me, that's huge.)

The weather's been great so I've actually been working out, and even went on a 5+ walk with some friends. (Considering my current social life in Edenton, that is pretty much the equivalent of a cocktail party.)

But something's just not sitting right. I was talking to my friend Shannon last night when she helped me figure it out: I'm lonely.

While most people may have a reaction somewhat like "Duuuuh", this isn't a feeling I'm used to having. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and was an expert at entertaining myself.  But for some reason this feels different.

Work/life balance has a lot to do with it. Besides walking the same loop around my tiny town and watching Real Housewives religiously, there's not many ways to decompress after work. (Besides heavy drinking, which I've heard is generally discouraged.)

I keep telling myself that it'll be better next year, that summer is just around the corner, that that's when I'll finally have time to write like I want to. But I need to realize that the only time I have is NOW, and that summer doesn't hold some magic elixir that will provide endless blogging and story writing.

Plus, I still have students showing up everyday and trusting me to teach them. So there's that.

So...how can I enjoy the moment and not feel like I'm pushing fast forward to summer?

Haughty Reads: What Would Jackie Do?

If Jackie O. had written a blog, I'd like to think that she would have called it Haughty by Nature. 

But then again, I also like to think that I'll marry rich and have a summer home in Nantucket. Thus, dreams don't always mesh with reality. 

I picked up a copy of What Would Jackie Do? on the (gasp!) bargain shelf, and for weeks let it lull me to sleep each night with dreams of Camelot and custom made Oleg Cassini dresses. 

Sigh. I was SO meant to have a trust fund. 

While their are plenty of books about beloved style icons-Audrey, Jackie, Marilyn, this one is wonderfully organized and chock full of intimate (in a good way) information from many of Jackie's nearest and dearest. It reads like a gentle how-to guide for us middle class plebeians to learn to dress, work, and evoke a certain patrician essence. 

Bottom line: Could be the best $4.99 I've ever spent. Because while I may not be decorating my Upper East Side pad or jetting off to Martha's Vineyard, I can still carry myself with the grace and style of Jackie, in clearance j. crew pants that would have made her proud. (Apparently, Jackie loved a bargain.)

And if nothing else, I still have a chance to marry a "Man of Consequence", which might be just what I need to take care of that little UES/Martha's Vineyard real estate problem. 

I Got the (Spring Break) Blues

Ugh. Spring Break is overrrrrr.

And, along with it, any reason for living.

Overdramatic? Duh. (Did you read the title of this blog?) But you would be too if you'd just spent an a-MAH-zing week that involved lots of wine-soaked Bravo and Food Network viewing, 6 mile walks around the Greenway in Charlotte, and lazy days on the beach in Sullivan's Island.

In tequila-laden bliss on Sullivan's

Overall, I'd forgotten how good it feels to:

1) wake up after 5:30 am everyday (aka I can actually stay up and watch Real Housewives instead of recording it....it's the little things people. The little things.)

2) have something to talk about other than teaching (books! movies! Real Housewives!)

3) go where I want, when I want to. (Because there's more than 5,000 people in the 20 mile radius.)

We hit the town in Charleston Saturday night, in which I felt like a socialite due to the sheer fact that I stayed up until 3 am. 

At Squeeze in Charleston

Ignore my devil eyes and focus on my new LILLLY DRESSSS! 

Sigh. It's not work that I dread coming back to. It's the fact that my days of popping into Barnes and Noble, wandering through the aisles in Earth Fare, and meeting up with peeps for happy hour are effectively over.

I need my social life back.

You would too if you came back to this view:

View from my classroom. Wonk wonk wonk.

Very similar to the one I used to have from Hearst Tower in New York: 

Any advice on how to power through the next 6 1/2 weeks until summer?

The Art of a "Working Vacation"

Um, so basically work conferences are the best things ever.

Case in point: by the time my substitute was most likely getting verbally or physically assaulted this morning, I had a steamy cup of Starbucks in hand and was just leaving for work. And by "work" I mean I sat in the gorgeous Raleigh Convention Center and learned how to help my kids be better readers. I? Could soooo get used to this.

Did I mention I hunted down a sushi restaurant lunch? Considering I'm usually wolfing down cold leftovers from my lunch box, I was pretty sure I'd died and gone to heaven.

Is this what real people jobs are like?

Since I seem to have more and more similarities with Howard Hughes the older I become, I'm also relishing days with little pockets of solitude. At home, I'm rarely alone. I carpool to work, share my classroom with boys large enough to play in the NFL, and live with two girls. As much as I love all of it, nothing recharges me like being totally, completely alone. After the conference ended today, I spent two blissful hours in Barnes and Noble without a person to answer to. I hunted down a Moe's for dinner without having to bounce ideas off of anyone else. I stayed as long as i wanted and drove wherever i wanted. I just did it. And it was glorious.

So yes, I realize I'm 5 days away from being 26 and I'm spending my evenings buying bargain books on how to grow your own herb garden.

Weird, maybe. Antisocial, yes. Luckily, once you're at the point of buying DIY gardening books, your concern about what other people think of you is next to zero.

And if you need me? I'll be out back growing mint for my mojitos.

What's Happening In This Photo?

Ahem. While making my j. crew wish list for my upcoming 26th birthday, I stumbled upon their swimsuit catalog. Usually I love j.crew's catalog photos, but the ones recently have been a little, well, strange. Since I live in a small town and have no life, I did the hard work for you and told you what the models are thinking. 

"Mmm...yes. What's better than lying on the sharp edges of splintery wooden steps as I stare directly into the sun? Nothing, I tell you. Nothing."

ROCKS! Nothing says "glam vacay" like finding an uninhabited rock to ruin your $100 bathing suit on. Am I right?

Water? No, there's no water within 50 miles. But I like to scare myself by getting 98% naked and standing as close to cacti as possible. What's life without a little adventure? I'm sooooo crazy!

What do YOU think the models are thinking?

Spring Has Sprung

Maybe my recent grumpiness has to do with the fact that winter feels like it will NEVER end. It seems like a year ago that it was warm enough to sit out on my back porch or not shiver in the car on the entire ride to work in the morning.

Not yesterday.

I spent Saturday in Virginia Beach with my aunt and uncle (experiencing c-i-v-i-l-i-z-a-t-i-o-n), and drove home to weather that was sunny and in the upper 60s. I opened my windows, turned the ceiling fan on, and took a nap before I had to head to youth group at 5.

Heaven? Has to be something like that.

Maybe it's the time change, but there's something about spring sunshine that makes it (nearly) impossible for me to be in a bad mood. I feel energized and capable of anything. Fresh air flowing through my room  is practically floating Prozac that goes directly to my brain.

Could this mean that I'm...happy again? Huh. Interesting feeling.

Haughty Book Club: Jane Green's The Beach House

Um...can we say "page turner"? I've had a tough time recently finding a book that I just can't put down, until I picked up The Beach House. It's a book that I've been mentally telling myself to read for years, and finally picked it up at the library this week.

Set in a summer in Nantucket, Green's writing is so vivid you can practically smell the salt air and feel the sand beneath your feet. Anyone want to loan me their summer house? (Anyone? Anyone?) There were a few cheesy twists and turns, but Green's character development and intertwining of story lines made it impossible to put down.

I literally finished this in a weekend, squeezing chapters in between loads of laundry, walks with my aunt, and trips to the hardware store.

Perfection.

What have you read lately that you just can't put down?